For the past week or so, I’ve been involved in a conversation that’s been leaving me quite bothered. I wrongly get really fired up at the comments on a Youtube video, but it’s all in good spirit. I see it as a chance to learn and grow. The youtube video in question was a News report about a boy and a girl in a relationship in which the boy and girl are both transgender.
Being “Transgender” means that you where born as a different gender to that of the gender you where assigned to at birth. It’s an actual condition that you can safely treat, if you so desire. Being Transgender is sometimes very distressing for someone as they often don’t know what’s happening until they start understanding their body. If a child has little knowledge about this, they can grow into late teens without realising and could be extremely unhappy in the process. Often, they’ll notice something strange about their body and start saying things such as “I don’t want this” or even “cut it off”. Often, they’ll see clothes at the shops and chose things that represent the gender they identify with instead of the gender they were assigned with at birth, or they’ll see different people and think “I want to look like him/her”. From the videos I’ve seen, these kids can come out with very mature and thoughtful things, I saw one of a trans girl (this means she was born with a male body) and she said “I want to birth children and have long hair and breasts” we can underestimate children, but I think things like this are pretty decisive.
There are many aspects of being transgender, I’ve just outlined one of them. The last thing I want to do by -trying to- explain being transgender is give the idea that being trans isn’t normal, because let’s face it, nothing is normal …so everything is. Whatever happens to a person here are the factors that means what they’re going through is normal:
a) They are human.
That’s literally it. Human’s go through loads of stuff and we are constantly changing! It’s all strange, wonderful, beautiful and completely “normal”.
Some trans people never go through things like surgery or hormones because they feel comfortable in their own skin. Some do it all, some do a little surgery but not all, it’s all a matter of what you’re comfortable with. And not going through with surgery doesn’t make a person any less trans than someone who has. Something I want readers to remember throughout reading this is, I’m literally just touching the surface of a very broad subject. So putting in the factor I stated earlier lets use some examples:
A Man has a vagina, he identifies as a Man. Is he human? Yes. It’s “normal”.
A Woman has a beard, she identifies as a Woman. Is she human? Yes. It’s “normal”.
I could go on for thousands and thousands of words trying to cover all bases, but instead, like I said, I’m just scratching the surface of one.
So when I was watching this video about this beautiful trans couple who happened to find each other and in doing so, have someone who can understand what the other is/ has been going through, I scrolled down and saw this comment:
I’m using an image of the comment instead of typing it out because a) I don’t want to swear even in typing and b) I still can’t believe someone would say something so so ignorant and childish.
So, here’s a little gender education for you… (and, if you see that I got something wrong, please notify me and I will change it as, again, I don’t pretend to be an expert)
The male in the relationship had not gone through with bottom surgery just yet, which means that he still had female genitalia. This confused a lot of the commenters, who were saying “so if they were to be in a sexual relationship, then they would be gay? This is not so. These two are not gay together. No matter what body the male has, the facts still stand that he is a HE. I explained this to “Stinkin Lincoln” who just refused to get it. I said that if you were to be with them both, you would be bisexual because you would be attracted to both male and female genders.
He then used the example of a trans female and said that Gender isn’t down to how you feel, and that you can put on a dress, go through surgery, use testosterone blockers and grow your hair out, but that doesn’t mean that your body is a girls body, he said that the body was still male.
He may be right, the body might still be technically categorised using X and Y chromosomes as male, but if the “male” still continues to be emotionally female and is now very happy with the way that she looks, then all points to her being female, what is there not to get? You can be a LOT of different genders, there are many different types out there. For those who are interested, here is a list of most gender that have a label with their definitions:
I’ve prepared a few examples:
*So you can be a female, be comfortable with your female body, but not be comfortable with being called a “female” and think of yourself as a mix of two genders, this is called “Bigender”
*You can be born a male, but some days want to be a female, so you put a wig and make-up on, and some days be comfortable with being male, this is called “gender fluid”
*Some people feel that they don’t have a gender at all, this is called “Agender”
Gender has nothing at all to do with sexuality, you can be Agender and be attracted to women, it’s up to the person whether they want to be called ‘straight’ or ‘gay’ or other, it’s the same with all the other genders. Also, if you know a person who you think fits into one of these categories or simply want to respect they’re individuality, some people prefer different pronouns as well. For example, from my examples, many Agender people and Bigender people like to be referred to with neutral pronouns such as “They/them/their” or “Zie and zir” ect. Some cisgender people (people who identify as the same gender that their body was born as) might be more comfortable with these pronouns too just simply due to the fact that they like it and it makes them feel happy.
Personally, so I don’t accidentally offend anyone, I try to refer to everyone with “they/them/their” pronouns until I know their gender and what they like to be called.
In conclusion; think, do and feel whatever makes you happy. As long as you’re not harming anyone, go for it and be yourself! Being yourself is a basic need of a human. Just as we all have different fingerprints, we all have different identities and if we don’t feel like we’re “normal” and we’re getting upset, then it’s time to re-think some things and change! Change can be really scary, and it’s terrifying when you tell someone for the first time that you’re different to what you thought you were. But that shouldn’t stop you and other people shouldn’t stop you either. If you’re going through something like the examples above and you don’t want to tell people, or your parents, or your colleagues ect. then it’s fine. Take your time, tell them only when you’re comfortable to do so. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to at all! Also, take into account your surroundings, if you are scared or fear for your safety, then don’t do it! Don’t be ashamed of prioritising your well being first. Again, if it makes you feel happy and you’re not harming anyone (including yourself!) then do it 🙂
I’ll finish with a flow chart I made to further illustrate this, have a great week everyone 🙂