Like so many others I still can’t get over what a massive pile of poo “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” was, even a whole year later. It has torn a hole in me. So, to start off National Novel writing month, I’m going to attempt to make it better in my mind by writing down my thoughts on what would make Harry Potter and the Cursed Child a better story.
But first, I have to right some of my own wrongs! I was- and still am- very very ill when writing this and it turns out I got some things wrong :S It doesn’t really change my opinions on it, my brain was just getting really muddled and I’m very grateful that a friend corrected me before more people read this, so thank you and here’s the corrected version 🙂
- Get Scorpius out of Slytherin. He doesn’t belong in there. He belongs in either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. He’s an amazing character full stop. He doesn’t show the traits to be a Slytherin- ambition and wiles. His Father Draco Malfoy showed it from his first encounter with Harry- he tries to make friends with the most famous wizard of their generation- a smart move if it would’ve worked. Besides, I think most Slytherins (apart from Albus it seems) wouldn’t really want to go on that crazy adventure. In fact, the only thing keeping Scorpius going on this adventure with Albus is his loyalty to his friend. Hufflepuff trait- tick! He also has a father who was very smart and could’ve passed on that gene- Scorpius certainly didn’t show that he wasn’t smart. Possible Ravenclaw trait- tick!
- Following on from point 1, at least one of the main characters should be in either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. It would be a good homage to these houses to have an important character in at least one of them. We as fans already know a ton about Slytherin and not putting either Albus or Scorpius into Gryffindor kind of made sense even if Albus shows way more Gryffindor traits than Slytherin. And we already know from “19 years later” that he wouldn’t have chosen Slytherin. He was very opposed to the idea of being there. I think it would’ve made way more sense if he chose either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw because he didn’t like the idea of the other two houses but then again, he doesn’t have many traits to go into Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw… so we’re left with him in Slytherin again. Anyway, I really think it’s time to let us have a main character in a minority house for once! Let us know the ins and outs of the house common rooms, let us have an idea of what else makes the other houses tick apart from being smart and loyal.
- Don’t call it “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.” Just “The Cursed Child” will do. We’ve said goodbye to H.P. It was painful. Don’t make us do it again. Make us fall in love with new characters, don’t distract us with old ones.
- Don’t ignore very obvious and set in stone law. It clearly states that Voldemort could not possibly love and was only interested in him and himself alone. He was clearly not interested in creating any heirs and wouldn’t have been satisfied if anyone but himself could be the ruler of the world. Don’t make the main villain in one story go against the core of his very being for your story just because you weren’t imaginative enough to come up with a new one.
- Bringing back time turners. I think the one think the original Harry Potter didn’t really need was time travel but JK Rowling did it suuuper well and Prisoner of Azkaban was amazing so oh well. But Cursed Child showed what can happen if you mess around with time. ALL the Time turners were destroyed, lets not make an excuse to go time traveling. However, I do agree with the play. Wizards would totally make time turners again. But I don’t think they would’ve done it in the same way as Cursed Child. For simple fixes a few hours into the past, the device is a fairly innocent one. And if they did make new ones, the screening process for giving them out would be a lot more rigorous and they would have some very heavy and complex protective charms in place to protect them. (Not the type that could be solved by two eleven year olds). Each one would also be in constant supervision to make sure you’re not going back too far, it would be easy for wizards to put enchantments on objects to detect misuse of said object.
- The Trolly lady is. Just. A. Trolly. Lady. You know what else could’ve made those two crazy kids stay on the train far more effectively than a crazy robot lady? Enchantments. Harry Potter is not set in a sci-fi universe. It’s magical, there’s witches and wizards. The quidditch pitch has enchantments around it to stop the Snitch from escaping. Hogwarts has enchantments around it to stop muggles from coming in. The triwizard cup had enchantments around it to stop people below a certain age from going near it. I’m pretty sure the Teachers at Hogwarts could’ve figured out how to place enchantments around the train to stop the students from jumping off it.
- Lastly, don’t make Hermione the Minister for Magic. There, I said it. It’s not that I don’t think she would be able to do it. I think she’d be perfectly capable and would have people begging her to take up the position much like Dumbledore. Why wouldn’t they? She’s smart, she’s talented and she understands the wizarding law better than most. But I really don’t think it’s in her character to take on the position. For one thing, she knew that Dumbledore wouldn’t take it on and that must’ve had some impact on her, she really respected Dumbledore and I believe she would’ve thought about why he didn’t take on the role as well. Secondly, I think she would want to spend her time researching and learning more. That’s what Hermione’s passion is after all. Before she started school, she learned all the textbooks off by heart. Learning is very important for her and she knows that if she has an important job like ruling the wizarding community of Britain then she wouldn’t have much time for learning any more.
*huff huff* I think I covered it. I think that’s it. Did I miss anything out? How would you change it? Do you think of these characters differently? I would love to hear your views on what would make The Cursed Child a way better book!