pride

Okay, some people (naming no names) have been putting me under pressure about putting my facebook picture through the rainbow filter to celebrate gay marriage being legalised in all states in America. Things like “hey, you support gays, why isn’t your picture rainbow?” for example. Yes, surprise surprise, I am a Mormon and I support Gays. Sorry to burst your bubble but there are a lot of us out there, it’s not strange to support other people. So without further ado I want make one thing quite clear: I am happy that people are allowed to be free. I personally believe in heterosexual marriage, but that doesn’t matter here. The world isn’t made of Mormons and I understand that. I was not put on earth to shove my beliefs into the faces of people who are both uninterested and uncomfortable about them. My beliefs are mine as are the hearts of the homosexual community their own.

People who are familiar with my blog will know that I have a strong belief about freedom and I am proud to say that I am in a religion that supports free will. I believe we have free will to do anything and everything, but unfortunately that isn’t realistic in terms of wanting to be with the person you love for the rest of your life but that person just so happens to be the same gender as you. So yes, it makes me angry that places are taking away other peoples ability to be married where they live, no matter who is in the marriage. Especially in a country like America where “freedom” is almost their catchphrase and a lot people move there for that.

However, I cannot ignore that I have a lot of other Mormon friends on facebook that might see that I have put my picture through the filter and question my beliefs. You must understand, my religion is my life. It is not just for a couple of days or when it is convenient for me, it is 24/7. So to have what I love and cherish most in this world questioned causes me a lot of distress. Even if none of the people I’ve got on there ask me questions directly, I’ll constantly be worried that they’re thinking thoughts like I’m not a Mormon anymore. I’m not saying they would at all, but my mind can’t help switching that statement around to ‘I can’t guarantee they wouldn’t either’. Usually I’m optimistic, but in other people’s thoughts about me I’m not.

My natural state of mind seems to think that people only think bad things about me. Or that I’m annoying them, or in this case that my beliefs have changed. That’s most likely why I’m so outspoken about my feelings and that’s why I love having this blog because in these situations where I feel like I can’t do anything without upsetting anyone I can wright it all down on digital paper and breathe a sigh of relief. On other sites like Tumblr and Twitter I’m different, I’m very much like I am on here; outspoken, confident and bubbly… mainly because those sites are much less personal and less judgmental. They still are pretty bad sometimes, but they’re a darn site better than facebook.

So, yes, I talk about not being scared of showing your feelings and stuff all the time, but the truth is, sometimes it’s just not the right thing to do at the moment and that’s fine too. Sometimes you’ve just got to do what’s right for yourself and at the moment, minimal interrogation is best for me as I not the best with a lot of confrontation. Mostly I just cry and say sorry a lot! So, love to gays, love to Mormons and let’s hope that we can eventually live in a world where we can believe what we want without causing trouble!

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