One of the things I’m usually most self conscious about is smelling bad. It sounds insane, but I live through my nose. I’ve found that generally everything that I don’t like, I dislike the smell of and visa versa. I have a fear of the dentist and needles and I’ve found that I hate the smell of both of those things. I always say to people “you smell nice” when I notice because I really love it when people compliment me on how I smell. Smells are a big deal to me. When I smell something it brings back memories, sounds, songs. The smell of a new book or chlorine can make me feel really happy, but the smell of an old workplace or that too clean smell of hospitals can make me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I just really love smells ok?
And, up until now, because of how much I care about smells I’ve always had the thought “do I smell alright?” in my head. But, I realised that the people who care about me most aren’t going to care what I smell like. And if I smell really bad then they wouldn’t think badly of me. But mostly, they don’t say anything. And I think “well, if they really care about me, they would say” and just stop worrying about it. Smells are natural and if someone has a problem with my natural scent then I don’t want to be around them. Just like I don’t want to be around someone who I don’t like the smell of, because it’s important to me and I don’t want to get close to someone who I’m just going to think negative thoughts of all the time. It wouldn’t be fair to them.
I think I came to this realisation when I watched this video: (just a warning, there are swear words in the video, I know some people who read my blog have children)
He says some really good things in this video, he talks about how you can’t please everyone and that the two most important things in life are that you are happy and you are healthy. And even if you’re not healthy, don’t let that take away from you being happy and working towards feeling healthier. I think these are all things that we should be learning from parents, or peers. It’s like when you’re at school doing Physical education and all the girls start messing around with their hair or doing that weird thing that makes their t-shirts look like bras. Life isn’t a fashion parade people. And it’s not a …smelling parade either.
I feel freer in the knowledge that I don’t have to constantly worry about how I smell any more. I can forget to put on spray perfume and still feel good about myself -which is a massive step for me. And I know there are going to be days where that’s all I think about, probably on my first date, when I get married or when I’m meeting people for the first time. But, in the words so eloquently said in the video “That’s just how it is”. What is done, is done and what will be will be. Just, if you ever meet me, please tell if I smell bad so I can put deodorant on…