Self- control

This is a very tough thing to overcome. I think controlling yourself is one of the hardest challenges of the world. Trying to control yourself when faced with something that seems immediately pleasurable is like being at the zoo without cages to ensure our safety. We would just hop right in there without thinking of the consequences and hug every fluffy cute thing we set our eyes on, no matter how deadly and decidedly not cute that animal really is. I have lots of things that test my self control, but three things really stand out to me and they are: food, clothes and people. Right now, me and my Mum are trying out a new thing with food where we don’t have any sugary sweets or overly fattening foods for 6 days of the week and on one day, you pig out. Apparently, this way is better than spreading it all out. But boy is it hard. I was given a chocolate at work the other day and I had to put in my pocket and say I’d save it for later, they thought I was just saving it for lunch when in fact I took it home, put it in my room and am now waiting for Sunday more than ever.

This brings me to the last item on my list- people. The chocolate challenge also challenged my overwhelming need to please people and to fit in. I so wanted to just be normal and accept the chocolate but I had to go through what, to me, was an embarrassing situation. This effects on-line chat’s and texting as well, as when I get that notification sound, I have to reply right away or I just couldn’t live with myself, I would feel so terrible for letting the other person down. In fact when I started this sentence, my phone vibrated and I’ve been trying so hard to concentrate on writing this, but I’ve been so anxious that I’ve made mistakes on at least 7 words. And would you look at that, the reply I sent was one word and a smiley face. Worth it?

Now to address the more girly of the three… I was never that interested in clothes, but since a few years ago (and when I realised I could buy clothes on the internet without even moving) I came into my stride. Now whenever I’m faced with a jumper with a big cat on it or tights patterned with moons and stars I practically start salivating. Now that it’s Autumn, I am facing the hardest challenge yet- snuggly weather. The kind of weather where you want to buy scarves and hats and… and jumpers. Oh, I can’t help myself when I see a massive jumper that I can sit on an armchair and drink hot chocolate in. I mean, you can do that in anything, but a jumper is the star of the hot- chocolate appropriate clothing.

*Mentally slaps self in the face* Anyway… Yes… Self- Control… *cough* ummmm. I just saw a new autumn collection on Tumblr and it’s all on sale so I must dash.


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